8/2/2009 - Fond Memories of Dick Stoltenborg
Attending a funeral is never a fun proposition, to say the least.
Depending on the age and the circumstances surrounding the departed, the funeral can be a real tear jerker that will stay with you forever or a celebration of a life lived to the fullest.
I was fortunate to attend the latter last week.
Regular readers of this blog know that I grew up playing sports in the Highland Lakes section of Vernon Township and that time of my life really set in place my love for sports.
And one of the men who played a large role in helping develop my love of sports passed away late last month. Richard, or as everyone called him, “Dick,” Stoltenborg, 71, succumbed to a long illness at his home in Florida and he will be sorely missed by everyone who came in contact with the man who was larger than life.
Dick was a large man in size and personality. One meeting with Dick and you would remember him the rest of your life, good or bad. I first met Dick when I was in second grade when his youngest son, John, and I became friends.
His baritone bellow, devilish smile and hearty laugh could light up a room the size of Grand Central Station. When Dick was in the room, he was the center of attention. And not because of his size, but how he could mesmerize a room with his wonderful, and mostly off-color, stories and jokes. As his oldest son, Rich, said at his Memorial Mass to a chorus of laughs, Dick was not the most politically correct person, and that was an understatement.
I just remember constantly laughing when I was around him. His needle could be extremely sharp, but if it wasn’t aimed at you, you couldn’t help but laugh until you couldn’t breathe.
I played sports with John right through high school, and Dick was always there. He coached summer softball in Highland Lakes, a job he loved and excelled at. Dick and Ray Loughren Sr. coached the Comanches, a teen-level team.
I didn’t get the chance to play for Dick, but it always seemed like the Comanches had the most fun when they were out there and that had to do a lot with Dick. His philosophy was to treat young boys like men and his players always responded well to that treatment.
There were plenty of ex-Comanches at the memorial despite the fact that Dick hadn’t coached in years after moving full-time to Florida. And what was even more impressive was that several of the players he coached when he led the Ridgefield Connie Mack baseball team to a championship many moons ago were in attendance as well.
As I said, the memorial was sad, but a true celebration of what a man Dick was and the effect he had on the people around him. His son, Rich, gave a tremendous eulogy which set the tone for the whole ceremony. He had the whole place laughing and crying all at once.
He told stories of the family’s many trips to the Super Bowls and Dick’s antics at Giants Stadium where he sat in section 224 rooting on his beloved Giants. He told stories I can’t repeat here because you would have to know Dick to appreciate them. But believe me, they were hysterical.
The memorial also drew some of the finest athletes that Vernon Township High School produced during its infancy. There was a Stoltenborg on the Vernon football team from 1975 to 1983 and all four boys were named captains and were All-League players.
The Stoltenborgs were the “First Family” of Vernon football and the only family to have four captains. Quite an accomplishment and Dick was there for every game but one.
Rich (1978), Jimmy (1979) and Dennis (1981) set the foundation for Vernon football and helped the Vikings, and their coach Dick Wetzel, become winners in just their third varsity season. John was a standout on the 1982 team that I had the pleasure of playing on, which advanced to the state final, the only football team in Vernon history to do so.
All four have gone onto successful careers and made Dick extremely proud of the men and fathers they had become. John is currently a high school coach in the Miami area.
Everyone who played sports as a youngster had someone in their life like Dick. Maybe not as gregarious, but a person you looked up to. I know besides my father, Dick had the biggest impression on me as a kid.
And Dick took that role seriously as he was a mentor and father figure to a lot of kids who didn’t get that type of support at home. I was one of the lucky ones who received that support, but unfortunately in the 1970s many kids didn’t as it seemed like divorce was as popular as disco.
Rich recalled the story of one of Dick’s former players not having the money to buy a glove and the next day Dick had a brand new one for the kid so he could play. Rich added with a knowing smile, that he didn’t know how Dick could afford it with four boys of his own, but he found a way like he always did.
I went to Mets games and some Giants games with Dick and always had a blast. I remember in May of 1983 I was hanging out with John by their pool when Dick called us into the house to watch history. He wanted us to watch the first-ever Major League at-bat by a lean youngster named Darryl Strawberry.
Dick boldly proclaimed that this kid was going to lead the Mets to the World Series someday. Being a Yankees fan, I laughed, considering these were the Mets of Ron Hodges, Dave Kingman and the legendary Tucker Ashford.
But he was right. The year 1986 was a dream one for Dick as the both the Giants and Mets won championships and he couldn’t been happier.
Now that Dick has passed we all have great memories of the great times we shared with him, be it at Shea or Giants Stadium or his pool which was the place to be for a party in the 1980s, trust me on that one.
So my sincerest condolences go out to all the Stoltenborgs, especially Bea, Dick’s wife of 50 years. Bea put up with a lot, but she was the glue that kept everyone together and there isn’t a classier lady around.
Rest in peace, Dick, and if your view is blocked in heaven, just tell them, “Down in front.”
That's it for now, see you on the sidelines.
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